Oh man

This was for the overall chiplead with 18 left in the tourney.

Full Tilt Poker Game #21926780241: $2 + $0.20 Tournament (169088270), Table 29 - 600/1200 Ante 150 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:18:05 ET - 2010/06/27
Seat 2: Willow 203 (4,414)
Seat 3: Gr8Gatsby (33,088)
Seat 4: josephmurf23 (14,020)
Seat 5: actzeng (32,730)
Seat 6: iluvyourmoney (28,098)
Willow 203 antes 150
Gr8Gatsby antes 150
josephmurf23 antes 150
actzeng antes 150
iluvyourmoney antes 150
josephmurf23 posts the small blind of 600
actzeng posts the big blind of 1,200
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to actzeng [Ac 3c]
iluvyourmoney calls 1,200
Willow 203 raises to 4,264, and is all in
Gr8Gatsby calls 4,264
josephmurf23 folds
actzeng calls 3,064
iluvyourmoney folds
*** FLOP *** [2h 5h 4c]
actzeng bets 1,200
Gr8Gatsby raises to 18,942
actzeng raises to 28,316, and is all in
Gr8Gatsby calls 9,374
actzeng shows [Ac 3c]
Willow 203 shows [Ts Kh]
Gr8Gatsby shows [Ad Ah]
*** TURN *** [2h 5h 4c] [3h]
*** RIVER *** [2h 5h 4c 3h] [7h]
actzeng shows a straight, Five high
Gr8Gatsby shows a flush, Ace high
Gr8Gatsby wins the side pot (56,632) with a flush, Ace high
Willow 203 shows a flush, King high
Gr8Gatsby wins the main pot (15,342) with a flush, Ace high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 71,974 Main pot 15,342. Side pot 56,632. | Rake 0
Board: [2h 5h 4c 3h 7h]
Seat 2: Willow 203 showed [Ts Kh] and lost with a flush, King high
Seat 3: Gr8Gatsby (button) showed [Ad Ah] and won (71,974) with a flush, Ace high
Seat 4: josephmurf23 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: actzeng (big blind) showed [Ac 3c] and lost with a straight, Five high
Seat 6: iluvyourmoney folded before the Flop

Coming back

Ok, now that I'm posting this, I'm sure the downswing is coming...

But I've completely recovered from the worst downswing of my poker career. It took a while and basically one third place score in a $2 MTT worth about $130 or so, and just grinding. I'm still playing the $2s. I finally broke through, got to the final two tables, and then the final table, and got it all in with the best hand three handed.

It is amazing to look back at how down on things I was. I think that during the downswing, I was making bad decisions here and there, but I don't really feel like overall I was playing much differently than I am right now. Sure, an ill-advised $30 heads up game went wrong, BUT even without that, it was still probably my worst downswing ever. My mindset was so negative. Especially playing $2 games, I honestly thought I'd never come back.

Feels nice to get back on top of things. I cashed out about a quarter of my BR (still haven't done anything "specific" with my poker winnings yet) at the end of the downswing, so it's a steady grind back up.

I'd like to try and play more MTTs, but I simply do not have the time. It's nice to have a little confidence back in my game though.